Friday, March 16, 2012

The Stupidist Manifesto: Part One

“Yer 2 stoopid to have a good time!”—Patrick Swayze in Road House

The heart is a lonely grunter.  Legends are cute paths, and embroidery is dumb as capital, sunshades and cuteness.  You’re fucking stupid, and stupid is as stupid does as stupidism is as stupid does ‘em. Kingdumb randumb condumb.  Or, in other words, a kingdom is random with dumb.  Police are real dumb, like pineapples and crabs. 

You’re fucking stupid, but what’s really stupid is that if you’re afraid of being called stupid, you’re really fucking stupid.  “Stupid” is a word that means stupid people like you who have to look up the word stupid in a dictionary to know how stupid the word is.  Fuckin’ God you’re stupid as fat.  Book are no better than sandwiches, or the Internet.  Most sandwiches, if not all, are fucking stupid, but not as stupid as friends, and definitely not as stupid-fat as lovers.  The stupidest-fattest-lover you ever had is, someone has no doubt, the one you loved the most.  Her fat was so fucking dumb it made kingdom’s beautiful with plentiful fruits and crustaceans.  Lipid veneration grudges the fuckmonkey smoke.  Embroidered w/ my long, cute wings of aerosol-legends, capital idea!  This is capital tea, usurped in sleep. 

Murdering someone, esp. ur mother or yr postal worker or yr local internet provider, isn’t stupid at all.  Murdering yr local internet provider is like being a hot girl who gives a blowjob to a hairy fatboy because “his mind is sexy.”  If you think anything about this anything I’ve written has anything to do with me, I will harangue and stupefy you stupidly.  I’m sorry.  The house grows hot as my head unto restless sleep.  
Has yr house ever gotten so hot you’ve opened a window?  Have you ever shaved yr dog in the dog days of summer?  You’re fucking stupid.  Maximum Apparent Organ Jelly.  Quasi-Miraculated Organocide.  You’re fucking stupid.  Superluminal BDSM Night-Vision cyborg fish and nacho casino chips.  You’re fucking stupid.  I’m fat.  I’m stupid.  It’s hard to be a little boy when I’m not.  My heart’s breaking like a pineapple in Swedish snow.  I wish I was a hot girl.  I’m stupid as my stupid fucking-fat ya fat fuck so take this organocide into yr room and fukn fuk yrself, who needs a Southern fried cock in their matinee-marinated movies?  Come on! You’re fucking stupid.  If I could get away with it, I’d kill you dead.  I oughtta kill you for being alive.  This is my excuse for getting stupid-fat watching hours of televised forensic procedurals.  My local internet provider is fat as a stupid dildo for fat.  Stupid bitches.  Mysoginy is so fat it hates its own womanliness, outwardly.  Fukn stupid.  Bitch against mysoginy, that little bitch.  Go to a farm you fat motherfucker mysoginist that don’t like no dildos, go to a fukn fat farm and do some fukn stupid crunches on a fucking stupid infomercialized dumbass ab machine.  My heart is like spoiled rotten.  Whiny stupid spoilt brat children tantruming for fucking stupid candy.  Cursing is so fukn dumb.  It does nothing.  Not that doing something isn’t dumb.  Fuck.  Fuck. Tuck me in tight mommy, you’re so fucking stupid, I love you. 
Mah mah mah lemme suck on dem
Fatass stupid titties mamamamamama
Lub lub lub
Lub glubb glub

Sex is fucking stupid, like pretty girls in a wheelchair, like vitamins and modern ancient…Beauty is fucking stupid, but not as stupid as me, stupid, hairy, fat, smoker, fucking stupid head over heels in love with beauty.  Head over heals!!! Fucking stupid.   Who gives a shit.  Fuck puns with maggots from a dead mother.  This is so fucking class-action stupid.

Aliens are stupid.  Genocide may or may not be stupid. At least, no stupider than aliens or yr dreams, you children, your love you wear like a stupid nipplebottle and bib around yr candied neck.  Phlegm in my balls!  Quim in my LOLs!  Hops in my shops!  Ops in my cops!  Rank in my crank! Tank in my Stank!

I can write almost anything anymore of worth.  Too much I feel my own worth.  When I made a choice to speak of trash and garbage and worthlessness, perhaps I did so for I felt my own self obliterated, illiterate.  Now, half-obliterate…ellipses stand in, hieroglyphic boots for an invisible, mute body to walk-in and make it’s presence known.  I drink tea and juice, sick today, again…The redundancy of reading whatever of my life I have happened to write down is sickening.  Repetition is influenza, & vice versa & so on until I make a book to invert my vice. 

Whiskey is stupid.  I drank yr stupid till I was fuckin good all done & taterfuckin stupid, ya fucking stupid “anyone-wanna-have-sex-with-my-sister” fucking lot of Lot-ass asshole motherfuckin inbred stupidface cuntherpelipped fatstupid motherfuckers

Self-consciousness is stupid.  Fatism, racism, sexism, stupidism all are stupid.  I’m fatist, racist, sexist & 2 stupid 2b a stupidest.

Mars is Stupid.  Fuck geological anomalies!  You believe that shit   Conspiracies are a new stupid in the history of stupid.  Newness is stupid.  A new stupid couch sits stupid as the old one.  Wait a minute! Hold up!  That’s stupid.  Ecclesiastes-stupid.  Ouroboros-stupid.  The name Michelle is stupid.  Evidence of sabotage is stupid.  Data is sooooo fukn stoooopid.  NASA is stoopid.  Terrorism is stoopid.  Wanting to be an astronaut is stupid.  Hayloads are stupid.  Highly-trained technicians are stupid.  Coming back like winged victory is stupid.  Robot arms are stupid.  Genetics are stupid.  “I can’t believe how much faith we put in machines” is stupid, as stupid as the fucking machines, as stupid as my glasses, as stupid as me being stupid about technopeasants.  Noir is stupid.  Femme Fatales are stupid. Gold is stupid.  Earrings are stupid.  Communication with the shuttle going down is stupid.  Rain is stupid.  TV rain is stupider.  TV music TV life TV sponge TV Michelle Gold Noir Earring Rain
You’re fuckin stupid
You craigslist gold motherfucker
Would you like a fucking free
Cute bankteller cheap ass dum dum dumb sucker?
So what if there was a fuckin
Malfunction in the scrambled uplink telemetry?
Stranding them up there is fucking stupid.
Abandon telemetry
Rubbing your forehead in worry
Is inappropriately stupid.
Your fucking watch is stupid.
Time is fukn lame.
So what if we finally got this
Bird to fly right.

I wanna dream nice dreams.
No doubt I will have hemorrhoids one day.
I don’t give a fuck.
Plz sum1, any1
Buy me a fluffier pillow
Will you.

I can’t live like this, like a fuckin beetle
Dying on a hot, cheap pepperoni.
I wanna dream nice dreams
About internet fetishes & organic rice creams.
I have 2 fat ugly arms.

Let’s cut our fingernails into a bowl
Of Waffle House Burt’s Best chili together.
How’s life? Whatevs, I don’t wanna
Hear any of that snooze shit.

Must one despise the world, uncompromising, to be considered “earnest”?
Can you put enough nutella on this spiritual nothing to make it edible?
I can’t see shit in this rain of all yr fleas swarming at me Technicolor nags.
Ants dump their navels into the telephone.  The edible drums beat thickly earnest puddings.

Robocop sez, “Thank you for your cooperation, goodnight.”
PPL want paradise, they will have it.  An old lady collecting cans is stupid.  Hookers kicking a thief in the groin are stupid.  Robbing a gunstore is stupid.  AK’s and Tommyguns are stupid.  Robocop doesn’t go on strike.  Robocop doesn’t care about ur fucking grenade launcher.  Robocop is fucking stupid as fire.  “Think it over, creep.”  Robocop will stick his fingers in yr nostrils & ask, “Where is it made? Where is it made?”  Robocop will lock you in a stupid closet.  A crime is in progress, perpetrated by Asian women overseen by men w/ sideburns wearing bolos.  “Nobody move.  This is a bust! Ladies stay down!” If your fucking stupid baby keeps crying, I’ma gonna shoot him.
“Can’t shoot a kid, can you fucker!”  Robo is sad about his boy.  He loves his boy, his wife who left him for some “real” dick.  She had feet he liked to tickle and seemed, in all his memories at least, to be taking a shower.  Robo, what can you offer her, love, a man’s love?  Do you think you could be a husband to her?
Are you Alex Murphy?
Are you human?
Poor Robo, you are not merely a machine.  Even the cute science girl w/ the Bad haircut thinks you’re real.
Yr husband is dead.  They made me, this, to honor him.  I don’t know you.  OCP stands for Omni Consumer Products.  OCP is taking Detroit private.
This might be actionable.
This is bullshit you old senile bastard.  Bullshit! Bullshit!
“Attitude Adjustment Team”
The cops on strike hate Robo for still working.  Is he still working out of a sense of duty?  After all, he was raised Irish Catholic.  Jesus, if only that fucking lit drug pushing slick haired lil kid hadn’t shot Robo in the head.
For some Nuke, a cop is betraying his brothers.  Isn’t this a schoolday?
Kids are throwing popcorn to a soundtrack of 80s hair metal.  Officer Buffy have a seat.  You sold us out Officer Buffy.  I’m gonna shove yr face thru the screen of a Street Fighter arcade game.  You are a rotten cop.  I wish I had some good food 2 eat.
So what if I wanna use my coupon to take a hot date out for some real dickgood pasta?
Criminals have the worst facial hair.
Jesus and Elvis suck.
O mah god I just wanna shit
Right in my own face.

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