My face beams & glistens with a multi-vitamin glaze,
A balsamic reduction of redacted Gitmo-testimonials
I slick my hair back with the skimmed cream of supplementfucks
I buy dwarves and fatten their livers
with Chick-Fil-A minis
I make them drink and drink forties of Pepsi Max
And guzzle gallons of Polynesian sauce
Out of the plucked eyesockets of sodomized ventriloquist dolls
I make them quack and quack and attack anthills
with supersoakers full of bitcoins & buffalo sauce
I get pegged
When I get bored with the dwarves
I stuff them into an industrial waterheater with Ted Turner who is paid to gnostically cough up
scorpions, manifestoes, and boneless chicken breasts.
Ted fondues all these things
and demands fondling as his fond dues
I have no interest in what happens next & move on
I buy cargoplanes and fill them with multipack DVDs from Circle Ks and Kangaroos
To the starving children of Africa I distribute C-grade Westerns & horror movies
I buy 1700 yellow Hummers and lube their tailpipes with Ricin & Elvis sandwiches
I pay breeze-starved Sudanese women riddled with AIDS cum-tornadoes to fuck the tailpipes hotly
I am a creative thinker I get medals I get prizes
Making my own way
Overpopulation is a real problem in the world today
In Nigeria I give the natives Lincoln logs
and tell them whoever cannot build a house
will be shot in the fucking goddamn leg
and left to gangrene near the fucking marsh
and then I'll fucking turn yr head around on your body
and fill your mouth with the green green fermented pus of a thousand wildly frottaged, milkfucked orphans
You have 2 weeks, go for it
Fucking impress me you mild heathens
I brutalize a dark night with Twilight turtles & contemporary cinema
At a McDonald's playground I tape silly straws
to my penis and fuck tabbycats to shishkebab freddy-handed dickdeath in the stinky ball-pit
blonde children slip and slide
when the parents object I buy them a Taco Bell franchise and class-action-
silence like a litigation ensues
I am a creative thinker
I know what boys want...tickles & pickles & my impression of Don Rickles
I go to Nashville & Asheville & Seville & even yr fucking cheap windowsill
I go here there & everywhere
I litter the streets with beskeeted bedsheets
I pollute the air with donated real-hair wigs & philanthropic care
I buy my bathwater in the form of Starbucks bottled water
and pay cripples to heat it for me by boiling it over their own burning prostheses & MFA theses
I eat Reese's Pieces out of a dead-saint's leathered taint
The Pope tells me to stop but I say nah brah I cain't
Morning noon or night
you're the apple of my eye
and I'm coming to take my bite
I'm Warren Buffett
& you're gonna suck it
unless you like endless buffets too
which is cool with me and I'm cool with you
But till then you know you really pay too many taxes in comparison to people like me
I dunno, You should do something about that
Like standing in the street for awhile or whatever
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