In my professional opinion
I frown like a geology of trouble.
I've got sports injuries big as California
from all the earthquakes I've slamdunked.
Like Mike, when the tsunami hit
I drank it all up because it was milk
and I wanted to set a good example, plus get paid.
My bones curdled back into a craggy brow.
I'm so jealous I could cry
Out, "Someone give me mad cow!"
At least I'd die with beef,
my life one long fart greenhousing the sky.