Six Possible Suicide Notes

1.

What if Tom Hanks was a political prisoner forced to be Tom Hanks for political reasons?

2.

The exit sign is a red turtle
of a joke.
When you die you see Crocodile Dundee
Cuz he's a nice bloke.

3.

Tears are like pee--
a jellyfish crying don't scare me.

4.

I kinda sorta wanna die
I ain't gonna lie
cuz I ain't momentarily that sorta guy
shrimp scampi
let's watch bambi

5.

Soon, it's nobody's fault, I'll have to check my bank account.

6.

I was a connoisseur of inferior products.
Like a stem, I systematically crawled.
In the parking lot, slide-guitar riffs demand life be a lab assistant.
Folded compensation, a living head runted with sincerity.