Rules of/4 Art

 Hot Tub Time Machine is better than 99/100 poems

Of that 1%, Hot Tub Time Machine remains more enjoyable than 99%

This remainder, however, the Other .0001 floors us while

Hot Tub Time Machine only splits our sides—and heads

Because of this, all art must aspire to Hot Tub Time Machine

at first

Without prior achievement of Hot Tub Time Machine, poems, paintings and pictures

About our dads, dogs and philosophy are just that

boring, private tributes to a public object that should remain so

This is what makes Whitman's Drum Taps and Carson's Nox

more than just poems "about things"

W's desire for ripening in the southern sun is a nostalgic redoing one can get behind while

C's accordian structure is five gallons of cgi'd projectile vomit

This is why the best artists in both their early, nascent, budding periods

as well as older, post-developed states entertain playful streaks

Without his golden ear, Eliot wouldn't be Eliot

Prufrock would be Parson; still

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats remains his fluorescent achievement

Ulysses doesn't reach Hot Tub Time Machine until "Wandering Rocks"

doesn't surpass it until Steven breaks the chandelier

but boy, that's why we swoon when Bloom makes cocoa

Spicer's radio is a Hot Tub Time Machine, but if there's one

in Duncan's—as in Olson's—field, I sure as fuck can't find it

Spenser and Chaucer, though, surpass a Hot Tub Time Machine with line one

Thats why they last

Shakespeare, here, is notoriously absent because he is a Hot Tub Time Machine