Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What the Fuck Are You Looking at?: 6 Faces of Vacancies


1.  An Inconvenient Indignation

Boats light across Louisiana, frogs, fog
And finally to grass.
All the prophecies hustle into the jail
Carrying torches, chains and sticks
And there in a room
They find nothing but thin-faced heavy-breathing.
Flesh tears with the sound of nails
The face acid-washed by crucified painters gets a beat behind it
And flickers binarily into a choir of flames carved into rock.

The whole wall will be finished by tonight
If the eyes, the eyes bleeding
Doctors out of their fallen mouths
Don’t wetly die upright in a great headstart
On the weird injured couch
Ringing you up incessantly
Like a client cobwebbed in yr need.

2. A New Kind of Dignity

The eyes carry their small blackbags like tired smalltown doctors, suffering gentleness, minutely.
Every nurse wears pigtails loud as their heels,
And all the bodies green themselves
Ready for grass.
Everything screeches like a rusty lawnmower
Worn around the neck
Until the face melts by accidental
Acid into sherbet ice cream
Sweat, sweat, sweat
Till jazz
Till a cherry on top
Till an unsuccessful fashion designer
This is the way we sit
Eyeless
Pus on our suffering tongues
Like a surfacing
Corpse filehosted by old lake water
And home-aerobic weights

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Murder Every Leg You Can Stand On: A Book of Children's Verses

Author's Note:  Actual copies of this book will be available soon, fully illustrated.

Prologue for Ambitious Young Sailors

Audacious children in the face of so many winds you fought to assert.
Blistered by the myth of snowflakes unique,
Children of America, narrate the shared disaster you seek.
Doom yourselves past love,
Take such as dust as grows as gales!
What still sails has strength to make us unhappy.
In a life rabid with transmission-nauseas,
The soul, venomously dynamic, precipitates pirated machines;
And so after rioting in the bedsheets of the indebted streets,
Punish yourselves seeking bouquets & treats.

Children, don’t grow up deadly & happy.
At age 5, burn the house down your parents grew up in.
Throw your own self out into the plaid warm skirt of a Siberian night
& pick up that flashlight pirates cracked open your mother’s head with.
Let the wolves tear out your father’s breasts
Like office clocks from the concrete of life’s biznizz parks.

Children, full with the mild lung’s stone of smoke,
Return to port and murmur, “O my soul is wrong!
The broken water is a berth of mourning with whom nothing lasts or dawns!”

In the interstellar cold of America, the mother-country’s crotch,
Wear thermal-pants like scratched, fucked CD-Rs.
Keep on drawing your shitty flowers & houses.

Children of the machines! Children of the rubber rudder!
Children who seek only butter to lube life’s udder!
Clean the metal of the hatch of your dead mother’s poop-deck snatch!
Children sleep cool in nauseous bunks
Dreaming of treasure hidden in BMW trunks.
All your blood for the spin of the wheel shrill & alive!
It’s not disgrace if your impotence appears on the news at 5.

In an explosive unit
Polish yr nails & faces.
Unbutton yr crotches with the noise of a crane.
From the bottom of the chimney of yr industrial heart
Raise & reveal erect yr floured-genitals of arriving goods timely in distress,
O plangent, how u really hope nothing will ever change.

Children of America, you are self-servicing gas stations
Stealing everything you have!
Children of America, don’t you fucking love yr PTA!
Get drunk Children of America, ram yr trustfunded
Car into the Mother’s Against Drunk Driving Nanny-State Center!
Die like gumball machines squirting STDs
All over yr broken windshields and torn dashboards.

Fuck yr heart’s yellow hi-liter with a dead wolf’s dingleberries.
Are you alone in yr hermitage of remembered Halloweens?
Politicians are homeless gloryholes.
Gandhi & Tolstoy can suck our vacuum-aborted
Peace like a pokerface of wedding-rings.
Pigeons rent shitty lofts in the crosstraffic of my wandering tears.
I’ll always remember I’d come to love you.
My tears of Do-Not-Litter street signs
Will not let all my lawns be clean & forget
With my Anonymous-msg-board of wide-open arms.

Children of America, I hope your lives won’t amount to the price of tennis shoes.
I hope you get brainwashed by upholstery day after day.
May you never say this right here
This is the exact motherfucker
I always ever wanted.







As-Seen-On-TV Metaphysical Products


Part One:  The Heaven Replacement Blanket and The Poetic Face Extinguisher

Take all the sloth shit, throw in banana peels, coffee grinds, plumstones, handcrushed toads, 37 slugs, 5 candelabra-singed death's head moths, 19 pounds of deer entrails, 16 vat-grown mouse ears, 2 pounds of chewed Juicy Fruit gum, and 3 quarts of lemon-infused vulture piss...you will have, in the mere span of 4 years, the only earth from which the lichen commonly known as the "Heaven Replacement Blanket" can grow.

The Heaven Replacement Blanket is a soft, natural, non-carcinogenic blanket which can be fondled in the hand, like silly putty or Sunbeam bread, until it is rolled up into a tiny, portable ball easily carried within one's purse, trouser pocket, messenger bag or slightly inflamed nostril. At night, the ball can be unfolded with a series of precise breath-maneuvers and genuflections to one's own chosen secular deity. The Heaven Replacement Blanket stretches out under the stars, bringing the comfort of Heaven down to here, this earth, where you are, where you need it now. Not only does the Heaven Replacement Blanket have a NASA-patented vacuum-chamois lining which wholly absorbs and dissipates all unwanted smells of flatulence, but, when left out in the sun, a complex Johnson & Johnson patented nano-module, through a photosynthesis catalyst, emits the smell of lavender and pulled-pork sandwiches.

Now then, if the Heaven Replacement Blanket intrigues you still, all we have to do is grab a drink/coffee sometime! If not, then I can tell you about my new (patent-pending) Poetic Face Extinguisher--Here's the tagline to bait you:

Tired of smoldering eyes haunting your rickety safety door? Experience burning
In the immediate symbolic space you imagine just behind your own features?
Is your face itself a screen going up in colored flames?

Now you can put out that painfully lit-up gaze with the Poetic Face Extinguisher.
Revolutionary breakthroughs in the world of Face Control Technology have applied
Particle-collision methods and models to the notoriously thorny science of Face Management.

So, when might you be free this week to grab a drink and hear all about these new revolutionary products I've invented?

Part Two: Found Objects

Cut off your own fucking head with a scimitar of smog!
You craigslist gold motherfucker
would you like a fuckin free
cute bankteller cheapass Dum Dum dumb sucker?

...So what if there was a fuckin malfunction
in the scrambled up-
link telemmetry!

Can you put enough nutella on this spiritual nothing yoga meditate toast to make it edible, huh???!

Ch.2 of "Shametrash"

Jam-shorted commando into the dawn
A garbage-truck empty of all but bass
Flatters itself crude crewed into a couple's awakened view.
Right before you die stealing new transport away, you say:
"I was afraid you'd miss me.
I like Cadillacs--what I like
Best is the price--free!"

As your last boat leaves nailed
A large bald man approaches
With a remote-control device telling you're tailed--
The sun flares both strength & peace
Until it is an axe sharpened
With nature & self-reliance,
So sharp you cry out,
Dropping your vanilla soft-serve
Ice cream cone,
"Daddy, Daddy, let me down,
Let me fish fish forever
And let every laugh be the sound
Of handmade lovenotes and baby deer
Eating gasoline out of the palm of my hand."

The gasoline approaches in the form
Of a helicopter, made secure with clay
Silent and smooth, just like always.

The sky slips blue-denim over the machine-gun mountains--
A loose coverall, and then
Osh-Kosh-O-mah-gosh
The fire starts, men are dying,
And the synthesizers are wrong
For cooperating in this soldier's ballet-
Plastic of booted grease and kidnapping.

You wake up 2 light from tranquilizers--
Today is payday.
Strangely orchestrated, the flute of an up-elevator
Plays the fleet loneliness of watched ballgames
Over the naval battle of bitten nails until all that's left
Is a good soapy footwash in a sink
Of gesticulations slated to gestate same-y states.

Friday, August 3, 2012

10 Haiku in Appreciation of Chick-Fil-A by Wilson "Jimbo Joe" Angus Fletcher V, Christian Car-Salesman, absent step-father of 6

1.

Yum, Chick-fil-a, yum.
Free speech tastes so good, so cheap.
Polynesian sauce.

2.

Chick-fil-a, good job
Standing up for families
I'm poor, can't stand up

3.

Here's some money I
Could've bought more cargo shorts with.
Preesh bros, I ain't gay

4.

When they have values
And their food is a value
I feel valued, right?

5.

Few things better than
Chicken.  Faggots should change.  Be
Like me.  Play "Halo."

6.

Didn't invent the chick
Just the chick sandwich, like me
& my buds--double team!

7.

Put your chicken in
Between two buns and your pickle...
Wait bro, is that gay?

8.

Gay people are gross...
Hey can I get 6 chicken
Sandwiches & 7 fries?

9.

Choke up and choke down
Some chicken and goddamn love
It.  Wait, is that gay?

10.

They can have my chick-
En when they pry it from my
Cold dead stomach juice.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The most insultingly boring thing you can say about a band:


Repulsion

Everyone is putting their lover's damn toothbrush in your glass.

The bother, the gun & the holy roast...
In the dark, a finger picks the plaque from
Between the wallpaper's teeth.
Noises of a fridge opening
Like a stimulated drain
Are heard retching like barefeet
Against the neck of bridge-dwelling birds.
This is the nightie I wear to turn the lights on.
This is the lightie I swear to churn the night lone...

My body, especially the leg-up of my eye,
Is an apartment the size of her eyelash.
Drums beat nearly green inside it.
By moving sideways under a healthy mask,
Still holding a living hand within your dead one:
This is how you don't care.

Fed up with everyone's accent, you ask,
Coiffing your difference bouffant,
What polish are you putting on?

The city is a difference so ugly you'll never know
The difference or why it tries
To communicate at you with its
Silently deep-fried gesticulations
Behind the cafeteria's glass window.

Right now I'm breathing on a shiny teakettle,
I guess to see if I'm still alive.
Glittery, I startle myself in bathrooms
And find my eyes a bathrobe with pockets
That ring like telephones inside pantyhose.
I promise I bet you are sorry you're better.
The toast is too late.
My dress doesn't look great.

What necklace not made of barely seen footsteps?
The walls begin to wear lace silently
Against the floor of your body
Abuzz with the sound of hardwood-morning
The better to rape your refrigerant with.
Come on, cheer up, I'm not in love.
Let's pretend we're fat men
Who want to eat each other's shoelaces like spaghetti.
How long will Google exist?

Na NaNa BooBoo, I do it more desperately than you do.