1.
I sat inside it, locking the skull in. There was a corpse of ivorystains all over
the pads, and I was hit, rocked to and fro, until the building I boned into
myself shut down, but I had faith, I had so much faith, and they were there for
me, but could never understand how to lose, how to lose like I did, all that
smeared light, in one day, for good, with that dust that’s not fair but that’s
the way it is…
2.
Who was inside you, or what inside you was whose? You’re the leader, so lead, but it’s so demoralizing, here, wherever, to feel jealous of what’s not that’s growing inside until you’re so not whatever you can be wherever, which never is no more than nowhere. I lost everything I loved and still played, maybe only because of that.
3.
“Why did the small
yucky man say that? He’s joking right?” Fuck you and shut the fucking fuck up you
comfy fuck. You’ll fucking die you’ll
fucking die and you’ll never understand you can’t you can’t get it closer to
you and I can’t, and I fucking can’t…
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