“Dictated, Not Read”
Clearasil wants to lick that zit, and I do too.
This lamp on the bedside table,
it also makes dark come night’s end.
How can I hold you when I’m all ears?
No one should want their wife
to be an ugly person, probably,
and so how to reconcile the little coincidences
I guess I’ll never know.
“Topps”
Fecal transplant is sometimes
a solution for irritable bowels.
I sure hope that one day they
put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame.
“Informants”
Steve Ganyard says, “There is nobody at the CIA
who can tell you more personally about Kim Jong Eun
than Dennis Rodman,” but the trillest word I ever heard was
how to make saddle shoes from white sneaks and a
Sharpie.
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