Do Yourself a Favor and Never Leave the House

                                                                         "We could never equal Buchenwald.”

                                                                                  ~  Charles Nonon, on the closing of Le Théâtre
                                                                                      du Grand-Guignol due to decline in sales

Time for the fucking goblins again! Hey,
can we please all do ourselves a great big favor
and stop pretending the whole world is going to hell
when it is obviously just you?

Stuff your kitty into a mason jar
Stuff your cherpumple into your piehole
Pinterest it, see if I care!

Why write your congressperson
when they have so little time?
I'm not wasting my time with that shit,
I only write to lifetime appointments: e.g.,

Dear Justice Ginsberg,
Roe v Wade is not the cause of today's anti-abortion fervor--
you are thinking of bigots. Bigots are the cause of today's anti-abortion fervor.
You're welcome.

Now let's have another joke:

Knock, knock!
Who is there?
Ben!
Ben who?
BENGHAZI HAVEN'T YOU PAID ANY ATTENTION??

It's so hard to only buy a bag of carrots,
when they've already made the chocolate milk for you.
Now I want to change the title of this poem to "My False Flag Attack,"
but honestly I'm just too whatever.  OK.