How To Journal #4

If you keep on returning home, it means you're leaving it too, and though that might not be your fault, I don't see why guilt can't play a juicy role here.  What I mean is, willfully picture it--this thing which is probably you but certainly looks a little better than you if you're honest about it is on a stage and it looks almost exactly the fucking same as the rest of the damn time you got your hand-screened eyes open looking at whatever it is that's currently boring you, except there's less people and you're less bright--that's how it is in a dream, less people than in real life, but we're not talking about that, or at least not in whatever way you want me to be salacious about the ethics of treating people not like objects--eh, I fucking lost it...I don't know where this was going, but I do know how, poorly--I always go poorly even when its going well which just means it's producing irreplaceable fuel to be consumed or even water--I hear that's running out too.